LIFE

Every woman knows about lewd comments, assault

Laura Schulte

USA TODAY NETWORK-Wisconsin

Last week I walked home from the gym alone.

The sun was still setting. I called a friend and made my way toward my apartment in Wausau, minding my own business.

That didn’t stop a man from leaning out the window of a black car and yelling a lewd comment about my body as I waited to cross the street.

I felt the anger bubble up inside me. I wanted to scream back at the random driver. I wanted to disappear.

If I had been walking with my boyfriend, or a coworker or male friend, the man would have never said anything. But these catcallers become bold when women are on their own. In fact, the comments happen so often my friends and I keep a tally and exchange stories.

We feel uncomfortable walking alone at any time of the day.

Sexual assault has been at the forefront of the national news in the past weeks because of remarks Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump made about forcing himself on women and subsequent allegations by more than a dozen women. Trump's campaign then expanded on the topic by bringing forth Bill Clinton's accusers. Before that, the case of Brock Turner went national when the Stanford University swimmer was convicted of raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster after a party. And investigations across the state of Wisconsin have drawn attention to thousands of untested rape kits.

Thanks to cases like these, speaking out about sexual assault is becoming less taboo. Women and men are stepping up more and more to share their stories, to make their words heard.

One in five women has been raped at some point in her life, according to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center. The same study said that one in 71 men has been a victim of rape at some point in his life. Next time you are with a group of people, let those statistics speak. If there are five or more women, chances are at least one of them has been assaulted.

Though some survivors are coming forward, there are scores of stories that will go unheard.

For me, a recent college graduate, these stats ring more than true. A startling number of my friends have been victims. During my time in college I had to testify at a university hearing in the sexual assault of one of my closest friends. She was raped at a party after our sophomore year, by someone we all considered a friend. She said no, and he ignored her.

I found her curled up in the corner of an empty room, crying. I helped her to the bathroom and did my best to support her through the months following the event, including the hearing. Luckily for my friend, there was some sort of justice, although she decided not to seek criminal charges. The man who assaulted her was expelled from the university. Afterward, my friend decided to tell her story to inspire others to come forward — she shared her story with the student newspaper and now attends law school where she is studying to help women in situations of discrimination or assault.

But sexual assaults don’t happen only on college campuses. These crimes happen at home, in the workplace, in bars. It can happen to anyone, anywhere. Catcalling might not seem like a big deal because there's no touching involved, but it's on the spectrum of assault. When someone makes lewd comments about a woman's body, he's telling her that she is less than human, an object to be ogled. And an object has no input on what happens to it, right?

It’s terrifying when you think about it. It happens each and every day, across the country. Women are catcalled, they are touched and groped and kissed and more, without their consent. It's happened to me; it's happened to my friends. The behaviors that Trump bragged about on tape in 2005, and those he accused former President Clinton of committing, still happen every day in 2016 and in every state. And they are perpetrated by people who have no political enemies and no news media to hound them.

The experiences I've had and the stories I've heard have made me much more open to talking about sexual assault. I've realized that by using my voice, I may inspire others to use theirs as well.

As for my walks home from the gym?

I bought a can of pepper spray.

Contact Going Out reporter Laura Schulte at 715-297-7532 or leschulte@gannett.com; on Twitter @schultelaura.